Pagemaster's Ponytime Theatre
by Nathaniel Shepard
Summary: A series of short fics I have written set in the world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
1. Radio Ga Ga

**Radio Ga Ga**

**A short story by Pagemaster**

Based on the original song by Queen

The sun had long since set over Sweet Apple Acres. Shadows cast by the light of the moon stretched from the trees that filled the orchard. The barns were quiet, the day's work having been finished. The only sign of life was a young, yellow filly gazing wistfully out her bedroom window at the near-empty night sky.

Apple Bloom's door creaked open and light streamed in from the hallway. "Now what in Sam's hay are you still doing out of bed, little missy?"

Clambering down from the window sill, Apple Bloom sighed and hopped into bed. "Just lookin' out at the sky."

Applejack sighed as she moved to tuck her sister into bed. "Now why would you go and do a thing like that? A little filly like yourself has no business starring up at the sky like some moonstruck hound dog. And it won't get no work down neither." Gripping the blanket between her teeth, the Earth Pony pulled the blanket up to Apple Bloom's chin. "Now you leave the skies to the Pegasus Ponies, you hear?"

Apple Bloom nodded solemnly and pondered for a moment before speaking up softly. "Applejack, what happened to the stars?"

The older pony stopped at the door and gave a tired glance back at her sister. "And what brought this about?"

"I heard Pinkie Pie talking about the stars today," the little filly began. "She said that the stars used to watch us all the time, like what we was doing and stuff. Didn't say why, but she was all sad about it. But then Twilight started goin' on about how that was all just some old mare's tale. Do you think… do you think any of it might be true? Did the stars really use to watch us?"

Smiling to herself, Applejack left the door open and sat down beside Apple Bloom's bed. "Here now, little sister. Let me let you in on a little secret." She paused to allow Apple Bloom to lean in eagerly. "Pinkie Pie was right. They did watch us."

Apple Bloom settled back in her bed again, a confused look spreading on her face. "But why would they want to watch us?"

Applejack shrugged. "Nopony knows for sure, but they've watched us for a long time. Maybe they watched us to learn something, maybe it was because they thought we were entertaining. Ah hey, maybe some of them even took a fancy to us. But whatever the reason, they watched us and they loved us."

Shuddering, Apple Bloom pulled the covers up further. "Ah'm not sure I like the idea of somepony I've never met loving me."

Applejack chuckled and laid a hoof on her sister's shoulder. "It ain't at all like that, you silly filly. Oh sure they loved us, but not like that. Or at least ah hope it wasn't like that. And they didn't watch us all the time, neither. But every time something big was going down in Equestria, they were there to see it. They were watching when Snips and Snails brought that Ursa Minor to town. They were watching when Nightmare Moon was defeated. They might have even been watching for that little talent show you and your friends put on."

Apple Bloom blushed at the memory. "Now I don't know why anypony would want to see that. Nothing good came of it, and it turns out our true calling wasn't comedy anyhow."

"Like I said, nopony knows why they watched they just did. They would watch us as we lived, talk about our lives and sometimes even make up stories to fill in the blanks they didn't see. Every once in a while, a little bit of what they say makes it back to us. It didn't happen often, but whenever it did everypony would talk about it."

"Did they say anything about me?"

Applejack smirked. "Apparently they think you and Spike go… nice together."

"Me and…" Apple Bloom's snout twisted in puzzlement, "Spike? But he's not even a pony? Why would they think that?"

"We don't know anything about them other than what we hear every once in a while," Applejack said, "and even that can be confusing at times."

"What else did they say?"

Applejack sighed and reached back through her memory. "Well they thought Luna's punishment for what happened a thousand years ago was a bit harsh, for one thing. Another thing that turned up a few times was remarks about that odd little pony that works with the moving company."

"You mean Ditzy Doo?"

The orange Earth Pony nodded. "That's the one, but they had a few other names for her. Some of them were a might bit rude. They were also talking about how rarity has something called ODC or something like that. None of us had any clue what they were talkin' about though. And for some reason they had the strange notion that me and Rainbow Dash—" she broke off and blushed furiously.

Apple Bloom rose slightly back out of the covers. "What about you and Rainbow Dash?"

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it," Applejack laughed weakly in an attempt to change the subject. "There's stuff you're not meant to know yet, maybe when you're older."

Frowning, Apple Bloom decided not to press the issue. It was getting late, she was tired and she was already pretty sure arguing was _not _her special talent. Instead, she returned to the question she had been wondering about the most. "So if they like watching us so much, then why did they leave?"

Shrugging, Applejack stood and stretched her legs. "Who knows? Maybe they found something more interesting to look at. Maybe they weren't able to watch us anymore. They may have even grown tired of us or, even more likely, tired of each other. By the bits and pieces we put together, they could be a pretty odd bunch and in every group there is bound to be somepony who doesn't get along."

"Do you think they will ever come back?"

Appljack smiled down at her sister and gave her a soft kiss on the head. "Maybe, sugar cube. Maybe." Careful to close the door behind her, Applejack wished her sister a good night and left her to sleep.

Laying in her bed, Apple Bloom continued to gaze out the window. She wondered about the mysterious folk her sister had told her about. _I hope they come back,_ she thought to herself as her eyes drifted shut. The young pony was fast asleep, visions of cutie marks and strange beings that walked on two legs and stared at light boxes danced through her mind.

Soon nothing on the farm stirred but the few critters who revealed in Luna's gaze. The chirps of crickets and the calls of owl's sang the world into a slumber as it waited for Celestia's rising sun. The moon itself sat in the night sky, a silent guardian protecting those who slept from nightmares.

All was still and, in the distance, a single star twinkled to life in the night sky.


	2. The Family Business

**The Family Business**

Gloomy clouds covered the sky in a dark overcast, casting the desolate landscape in a bleak light. Pinkie Pie stood at the top of the ridge, gazing down at the drab, old buildings she had called home so long ago. Setting her face in a grim look of determination, she started down the hill. There was a good reason she had kept away for so long.

Drawing up in front of the house, she rapped on the door with her hoof. It was her sister Inky that let her inside, giving her a long hard look before allowing the pink earth pony to enter. The house was just as plain as Pinkie had remembered. Cobwebs dotted the corners and a thin layer of dust coated everything. The house would never have gotten this dirty while her mom was still alive.

A racking cough drew Pinkie's attention to the back of the house. Blinky sat outside the door to the master bedroom, delivering her a cold stare as she approached. "He probably doesn't want to talk to you, you know."

"He hasn't wanted anything to do with me since I left the farm," Pinkie Pie said with a frown. "I didn't expect that to change now."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because he's my father," Pinkie said angrily. "Why wouldn't I want to be there for him?"

"You weren't here when mom died."

"She died in an accident. How could I have been there, Blinky?"

Blinky stood abruptly and glared fiercely at her sister. "Don't call me that. Don't you dare call me that. My name is Blinkella."

Inky stepped forward to calm the two of them down. "Can we please not do this? The last thing we need in this house right now is fighting."

Blinkella reluctantly slid back into her corner, glaring daggers at Pinkie all the while. Pinkie just sighed and looked tiredly at Inky. "Can I see him now?"

Inky nodded and ushered Pinky into the room. Hearing the door creak, Pinkie's father opened his eyes and looked towards her. "And just what the hay do you think you're doing here."

"You're dying, Papa," Pinkie's eyes began to water a bit. "How could I stay away?"

"You abandoned us a long time ago when you left the farm," the old pony snorted. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"I never abandoned you, Papa, I just—"

"_The hell you didn't," _Papa Pie roared before breaking into a series of wheezing coughs. "You're the eldest, Pinkamina. It was _your_ duty to take on the responsibilities of the farm after your mother and I when we were no longer fit to tend it ourselves. Instead you up and run off to some fancy town where you can have parties every day and work in a _bakery_ of all things. _A bakery!_" Another fit of coughing.

"But you loved my parties…"

"Parties don't pay the bills, Pinkamina. They never did and never will. You are a Pie, and you always will be a Pie. The Pie family have been rock farmers for _centuries_. We were rock farmers before Celestia locked her sister away in the room! My father, his father and his father before him, regardless of their special talents!" He paused to catch his breath, "Now Celestia was never kind enough to grant me a son, but I did right by you and your sisters. Raised you three the best I knew how to be the best rock farmers you could be. But rock farming just wasn't good enough for you, was it? Just had to go and follow your dream like some daft little filly with her head in the clouds."

Pinkie Pie's eyes narrowed and her hair lost its bounce, falling in straight curtains past her shoulders. "Father, I came here because I love you and wanted to be here for you when you passed. What I didn't come here for is to hear you lecture me on my life decisions. I'm happy with the choices I've made and given a second chance I would leave the farm again in a heartbeat. Now I'm sorry I wasn't here when mom died. I couldn't help that. But I _am _going to be here for you, whether you like it or not. If you want to waste your last breaths telling me how much of a failure I am, that's your choice. But don't expect me to stick around to listen to it." She got up to leave.

As she headed for the door, her father could be heard chuckling between coughs. "Now there's that stubborn streak again. You got that from your mother I suppose. Don't worry about the will; I haven't left you a damned thing. Rotten kid."

"I'll be sure to say something nice at the funeral. It's the least I can do," Pinkamena spat back, slamming the door behind her.

Blinkella and Inky jumped at the sudden noise and trotted to catch up to Pinkamena as she marched out of the house and towards the road to Ponyville.

"So just like that, you're leaving again?" Inky asked as she pulled up alongside her older sister.

"Well it's clear I'm not wanted here, so I've got no reason to stay," Pinkamena growled.

"Well what about the farm? You _are _the eldest. Are you going to just leave it to rot?" Blinkella called after her as they neared the gate.

"You girls go ahead and take it; I don't give a horse apple what happens to it." Before her sisters could call out to her again, Pinkamena was on the road and racing towards home, leaving her sisters standing just inside the pasture.

That night, she cried herself to sleep for the first time in a very long while.


	3. Sedimental Memories

**Sedimental Memories**

Fluttershy raced through the Everfree forest as fast as she could. Fear kept her wings locked tightly to her side. She had long since lost her way in the forest, but she did not dare stop nor look about to find her bearings for fear that she might catch a glimpse of her pursuer's eye. To look in the eye of the basilisk is death.

The beast measured fifty feet in length and was measured at least two feet in diameter. In his wake the dreaded serpent left a swath of crumbling, dying vegetation, such was the power of his venom. The head of creature was lifted high into the night sky, a plume of feathers extending around its neck. If one dared to look, the noxious fumes carried by its breath billowed against the night sky.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Fluttershy thought furiously to herself. She had come to the Everfree to check up on the manticore's paw, a simple task in and of itself. It wasn't until the sun was dipping below the horizon that the pegasus realized she had outstayed the forest's welcome, and it was a long way home. The Everfree was no place for anypony to be after dark.

Even as she ran, Fluttershy was sorting through everything she remembered about basilisks. They were without a doubt among the deadliest creatures in the forest. Their skin, their venom, their breath; all deadly toxic. Some accounts even describe the poison being able to travel up objects a pony may be holding and kill them as surely as a direct touch. But the eyes were the worst. To gaze in them would bring death in an instant. _Oh, what good is this stare if I can't even use it!_

The only thing she knew of that could kill the basilisk was a weasel, and even then she didn't know of any weasels off the top of her head that actually lived in the Everfree. Besides, even they would not be of much use if their bladders weren't full.

Abruptly, she found herself racing over a shallow pool of water facing a huge cliff. Over the edge of the cliff flowed a massive waterfall, breaking over a large pile of rocks that sat at the bottom of the falls. With cliffs to all sides but the way she had come, Fluttershy realize she had reached the end of the line. With a hiss and a splash, she heard the basilisk enter the pool behind her.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Fluttershy huddled against the rocks and braced for the death that was rushing towards her. _Oh please, Celestia. Don't let this be it for me._

A crumbling sound echoed around her and a heavy blow shook the ground around her, causing the water to ripple and jump. Eyes opening wide in surprise, Fluttershy looked in awe at the barrier of stone that extended over her, blocking the basilisk's assault.

Rising from under the waterfall, the stones shifted and began to take shape. The creature was bipedal and had no visible head. There was nothing to distinguish a face, no way of telling how it could perceive the world around it. Its massive arms cracked and grumbled as it grabbed the basilisk by the face and dug its mighty fingers into the beat's eyes.

The basilisk screamed in pain and confusion. Never before had it faced an opponent who had dared to touch it, let alone one that carried on its attack after doing so. Its sight crippled the basilisk retread slightly, listening for any movement that might give away the location of its attacker. The water was beginning to steam and turn a sickly green. Fluttershy scrambled out of the pool before the taint could reach her.

A small rock shot from one of the behemoth's fingers, cracking against one of the cliff walls and splashing in the water. The basilisk lunged towards the sound, running headlong into the cliff. Dazed and perplexed, the mighty serpent recoiled into the waiting hands of the stone guardian. Grasping its head firmly in both hands, the giant squeezed.

Fluttershy looked away in revulsion. The stench of the dead basilisk washed over the pool, causing the relived pegasus to gag. Her retching was cut short as she felt the cold, hard hand of the giant scoop her up and place her on his shoulder. Scaling the cliff, the earthen creature turned and pointed towards the familiar lights of Ponyville, clearly visible from this height.

"Y-you're a calcifix, aren't you?" Fluttershy asked, determined to at least work up the courage to speak with her savior.

Some of the rocks shifted and formed what passed for a head. It nodded.

"I've met one of you before, you know. Oh, but that was many years ago and it was just a tiny bunch of pebbles."

The head nodded again, the rocks grinding together in the oddest way. It produced something suspiciously similar to laughter.

"Oh, please don't laugh at me, I-I've been having just a terrible night."

The calcifix stifled its mock laughter and held one of its hands up to Fluttershy, stones grinding and shifting until something dropped in front of her. It was a pendant. Small, smooth and crafted from wood. Over the years, a few flakes had caught in the wings and wore into the wood, giving it the strange appearance of being both wood and stone at once. It was the sight of the pendant that brought the memories flooding back.

It was a few months after she had gotten her cutie mark. Her parents had been very understanding and allowed her to find a new home to live in (one which she still calls home today), so Fluttershy had been able to begin her work with the animals right away. She started with the ones she had met the day she tumbled from Cloudsdale and before long they had spread the word amongst themselves that there was a pony who was friendly to them and would assist their every need.

During this time something interesting happened. The bridge which led across the stream near her house was beginning to crumble. No matter how she or the other ponies in town attempted to patch it, the same cracks would appear time after time.

In an act of utter curiosity, Fluttershy stayed out one night to watch the bridge, thinking that she could discover the reason it cracked as it did. The hours drew on late into the night, and she nearly dozed off before she spotted something. One of the cobbles was wiggling!

Cautiously stepping forward, Fluttershy rubbed her eyes and blinked just to be sure her eyes weren't deceiving her. Indeed, several small pieces of the cobblestone were attempting to wiggle free of their own accord.

Never one to let any creature, no matter how strange, go unaided, Fluttershy quickly ran into home and found the closest thing to a chisel she had. Taking it outside, she clambered down into the stream and underneath the bridge. All through the night she worked, toiling away to free every last scrap that showed even a spark of movement. At last, as the sun was beginning to peak over the horizon and the bridge lay in ruins, all of the living pieces were free.

Round and round they danced, spinning around Fluttershy and knocking gently against her in thanks. Glad she could help, Fluttershy rushed inside and fetched one of the many pendants she had made that she gave to her animal friends. Wrapping around the pendant like a protective shield, the strange pile of living rock dove back into the stream to be washed away by the current.

She had done some research after that and discovered that the creature was a calcifix, a being of living rock that lived in streams and other flowing bodies of water. They spent their lives collecting minerals from the water, increasing their size and building new pieces for their body. Eventually they grew so large that pieces of them began to fall off and spawn new calcifi.

"That was you, wasn't it? In the bridge,all those years ago?"

The head nodded.

"When they built the bridge, they must have just used stone from the stream and scooped you up by mistake." Fluttershy sighed. "They couldn't have known you were there, you poor thing."

The calcifix gave a large shrug, careful not to upset Fluttershy's balance as they marched through the forest.

"Thank you," Fluttershy half-mumbled, "for saving me."

Nodding once more, the calcifix reached up and deposited a second article in front of Fluttershy, indicating that she should take it. It was a smooth stone in the shape of an octagon. A streak of blue ran through the center and cracks of green spider-webbed their way across the grey sides of the ornament. Pointing at the butterfly and then Fluttershy, the gentle giant indicated the stone and pointed a finger to his chest.

Fluttershy nodded and accepted the token offered to her. "Thank you, I'll treasure it always."

Having reached the edge of the forest, the calcifix stooped to allow Fluttershy to jump down. Waving a final goodbye, the silent guardian retreated into the forest. He would return to his waterfall where he would listen and wait until he was needed again. Fluttershy had shown him a great kindess, and he had vowed to pay it forward.


	4. Twilight's Steamy Buns

**Twilight's Steamy Buns**

A cacophony of clattering pots and pans echoed from the kitchen in Sugar Cube Corner, followed by the loud (and rather unlady like) curses of a certain unicorn.

"Oh Twilight, it's not _that_ bad." Pinkie Pie began to gather up the fallen pans, twirling them expertly and sliding them neatly into their proper places.

"Pinkie, I'm pretty sure key lime pie isn't supposed to be red. With yellow polka dots." Twilight used her magic to gather up some flour that had spilled from a nearby bag. Curiously enough, the bag was wearing a party hat but Twilight chose not to inquire.

"It doesn't matter what the pie _looks_ like, silly. Only what it tastes like!" Pinkie Pie bent down and licked some of the pie's filling from the floor. "Mmmmmmm… delish!"

"Does it taste like lime?"

"Nope, but it's still good!" With her face plastered to the floor, Pinkie vacuumed up the spilt remains of the pie. Straightening suddenly, a quizzical look appeared on her face again. "Hmm… maybe a meringue _is_ too hard for a beginner like you. We should try something simpler! _All you have to do is take a cup of flou—_"

Twilight firmly shoved her hoof in Pinkie's mouth. "No, Pinkie. No cupcakes. Why can't we try something other than a dessert? Perhaps a shortbread, or something?"

"That's a great idea! We can make buns!"

"Buns?"

Pinkie Pie nodded enthusiastically and began hopping around the kitchen haphazardly, nearly undoing all the hard work they had just put in cleaning the place up. "There's been a really high demand for them lately! Or at least I think there is. Rainbow Dash is always telling me how she would like to get a taste of my hot buns. Oh! Can we, Twilight? Canwecanwecanwe, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

Twilight's mind had been off chasing exactly what Rainbow Dash may have meant by that but she managed to shake herself back to the present. "Sure, why not? I'll just head back to my library and see if I can find a good reci—"

"Don't be silly, Twilight!" Pinkie Pie grabbed her and pulled her back into the kitchen. "You don't need a silly book to cook!"

"But isn't that what they invented cookbooks for?" Twilight glanced around nervously.

"Only amateurs use cookbooks!" Pinkie proclaimed from the door to the pantry. "You wait right there!"

Twilight considered pointing out that she _was_ an amateur when it came to cooking, but it probably wouldn't do her any good. Once Pinkie got going on something it was hard to put a stop to her momentum.

"Cooking these buns will be a _snap!" _Pinkie Pie exclaimed upon emerging from the pantry. "What could possibly go wrong?"

Sighing, Twilight consigned herself to blindly following whatever instruction she was given. She had no idea what she was doing and, as strange as it may seem, the kitchen was the one place she felt she could place her absolute trust in Pinkie Pie to know what she was doing.

Flour, yeast, salt, eggs, milk. All the ingredients were brought forth in their measure and added to the gooey concoction that was the dough. When Pinkie Pie had determined the dough to be sufficiently mixed, she ordered Twilight to dump it onto the wood countertop.

"Now stick your hooves in it!"

Twilight gave the earth pony a flat stare. "Excuse me?"

"You can't just _want_ to bake bread, Twilight. You have to _knead_ it! So get kneading!"

Sighing, Twilight reached forward to stick her hooves in the lump of dough.

"Wait!" cried Pinkie Pie, sticking a pan of flour between Twilight and the dough.

Twilight's hooves struck the pan, sending it clattering to the ground. "Oh great, one more mess to clean up." She looked back towards Pinkie. "Care to explain what that was about?"

Pinkie Pie shrugged and trotted off to get the oven heated. "You were about to have a sticky situation on your hooves. I helped out."

Planting her flour-coated hooves in the dough, Twilight began to work it. It was strangely calming, feeling the pliable mass stretch and form beneath her touch. Twilight allowed her eyes to close and for a while she just sat there, feeling the dough.

"Uh Twilight, I think you can be done kneading now." Pinkie Pie had returned from the ovens and was starring at the lump on the counter. Its texture had become smoother and the dough as a whole had somewhat flattened under her touch. Pinkie extended a rolling pin and indicated what Twilight was to do with it.

Bending over the counter, Twilight rolled the dough as flat as she could ("The yeast will make them get big!" Pinkie had told her), forming it into a rough rectangle. Using a special cutter they had found in a drawer, she stamped out circles of dough to be placed on the cooking sheet. Gathering up all the dough that remained, she again rolled it flat and repeated the process until only an insignificant portion of dough remained. All that was left to do was bake them.

Pinkie opened the door to the oven and Twilight slid the tray in, making sure that it wasn't touching any of the sides. Half an hour later, Pinkie declared the buns done. Cautiously removing the tray from the oven, Twilight set it on a nearby cooling rack. Another ten minutes had passed before Pinkie couldn't stand to wait any longer.

Taking a bun her mouth, the pink pony broke it in half and offered one of the two pieces to Twilight. Cautiously looking up at Pinkie pie, Twilight held her half to her mouth.

"One," Pinkie Pie said.

"Two," Twilight Sparkle readied herself.

"Three!" they both cried out before tearing off large chunks of their respective halves. They both chewed for only a moment before spitting it out.

"Salty!" Pinkie cried, rushing to stick her mouth beneath the water faucet.

Twilight smacked her lips, looking around for something to get the taste out of her mouth. "I don't understand, what did we do wrong? I followed all of your directions.

"Too… uch… sal…" Pinkie Pie glubbed from beneath the running faucet.

"What?"

"Too much salt!" she said, emerging from the sink. "How much did you put _in_ there?"

"Two teaspoons, just like you asked," Twilight replied, indicating the measure she had used.

"But that's a tablespoon measure!"

Twilight blushed and looked down at her hooves in shame. "I guess I really am no good at this cooking stuff."

"Don't worry, Twilight." Pinkie Pie said, sidling up next to her friend. "I'm sure you'll get it eventually."

"But look at how bad I screwed up, even with you helping me."

Pinkie Pie grinned. "I didn't help. I just told you what to do."

"And that's not helping?"

"Not any more than one of your cookbooks would have."

Twilight thought about that for a moment and smiled. "I guess you're right. I did do pretty good for a first time, didn't I?"

"Everypony makes mistakes!" Pinkie Pie laughed. "With just a teensy bit more practice, I'm sure everypony in Ponyville will be clamoring for a taste of your hot buns in no time!"

"Um… sure, Pinkie Pie. Whatever you say."


End file.
